Dating is the getaway to understand each other, but for a couple, it’s also a getway to fuck.
There is a TikTok creator @areyouhappy who asks people if they are happy? This is the easiest question so far, but it is hard to answer. Some may pause, others may be confused, and rest unsure how to answer this question.
Come on, be yourself, it may sound cliche, or you may not be happy, but, it’s ok, express yourself. No one is born perfect, perfection is just an illusion, you can’t satisfy everyone who clings to you. Whether you’re happy or not, that’s an important question! It’s not mandatory or a requirement that you have to be happy. Because in this materialistic world it’s quite challenging to pursue the path of happiness.
Do you know, when you’re a hundred feet above the surface and as you walk your conscience keeps telling you to not look down and just move forward? Have you ever wondered why? It is because looking down triggers your brain to give you a command to stop and just give up. Fear and anxiety will overcome your equanimity, which makes you vulnerable and fragile. Likewise, it is better not to look down as one progresses in one’s life, because you will be surprised to see all the hands, chains, and shackles around the ankle restricting your movement.
Don’t be scared we are all born with this restraint, and it continues to increase as we grow.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” — Dalai Lama.
Love and compassion are the essences of life. But it is debatable whether each of us has this. Some people long for love, and we are not talking about love between the same or the other sex. The constraints and suffocated love that our generation knows.
Forget about the compassion, we don’t have time for ourselves, so, who cares about other feelings? 264 million people in the world are affected by depression. can you imagine that 264 million is an enormous number and all these people are unhappy? We need love! But first, we have to understand that we are responsible for everything, good or bad.
As a child, they need more care, affection, compassion, attention, and support. We are taught in school, children are like clay because you can mold them in any shape. It’s up to you however, once the clay is dry, then it is impossible to change the shape. Teaching our children how to behave; mannerism, discipline, good education, do you believe that this is what your children really want?
We are humans, the intelligent species, discipline, manners, the knowledge we have in our genes no need to teach our generation. They are smarter than we think. If you try to give your children a materialistic thing then later, they will end up among the 264 million people who are unhappy. Give them your love, care, affection, compassion, attention, and support.
Have you seen a garden full of beautiful flowers and plants that are green and nourish, of course, these plants are getting enough water, sunlight, and nutrients? But if you see weeds and other unwanted plants growing around the flowers, then this is a clear sign of negligence and lack of care. We believe proving the basic needs and fulfilling their wants and desires is enough for your child but sadly, this logic or principle is still in use everywhere.
You’re in a relationship; it doesn’t matter if you’re married or still in a relationship, someday you’re going to have your babies. Mistakes happen just as Bob Ross says, “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.” And who pays for your happy little accidents, your child! Stop making excuses, yes, it’s your unborn child in you, but don’t misunderstand your love for your selfishness. Eventually, if you live your life with the person, you loved and who’s the father of your child, GREAT!, you are the best. However, if you get separated from that person, there is no doubt that another man comes into your life and this loop continues.
You are responsible for yourself.
You and only you are to blame for your child. Your child has every right to point the finger at your face and say you are responsible for me and I hate you for that. How ironic, the couple has enough time to make love in bed, but the same people don’t have enough time for their child. Hold them, scold them, teach them, feel them, spend as much time as possible with your child. Your child doesn’t need materialistic things, though they might ask you for a Barbie doll or smartphones, but the point is that they just want your love and time, that’s it.
The richest people are those who can give love and time to their loved ones.
Divorce kills more people than illnesses. To use and to misuse these are two different actions. You use them because you have to, but if you use them again and again because they are free or because someone willingly lets you use them then that’s misuse. Divorce is the misuse of so-called love.
Everything happens for a reason, most of the time we are born from happy little accidents and rest with planning. Either way, there is a reason behind your birth, no one will fall from the sky into the hands of your mother or father. There are several events and an incident like a title suggests “how I met your mother.” Nowadays, most dating and chats take place in apps, so it’s fair to say this is how I met you, mother!
No, joke apart, those who were deprived of love are always looking for love. Even the care they receive means a lot, as they are always looking for a god damn love. Again, it’s no coincidence or that you were automatically attracted to her/him. There’s a reason, most of the time you don’t see what’s coming, you don’t even have a clue why you’re doing this, the absurd thing you do.
You are having your coffee with a doughnut in a café and suddenly your eyes stare inadvertently at a table where a lady is enjoying her latte and somehow you can’t keep your eyes off her. We, men, know how to spy on someone when we like. Don’t worry, our preferences are pretty quirky, and if we like something, we might even pick up all the details of her like what she is wearing, what color, what brand, or whether she is enjoying her latte…
Come on, this has happened to all of us, don’t be shy or feel odd to admit it! This is the beginning for most of us or even for our parents or aunts who have had this experience. The place can be different, if not café, then restaurant, pub, alley, library, canteen, meeting or even our own house, the first mesmerizing look of her/him.
Have you ever been in this situation, a rapid chemical reaction in your heart and mind that forces you to do stupid stuff? You will somehow end up in the same place looking for her, it’s not your fault, no, not at all, your body automatically decides that for you. Then you’ll just look for her in curiosity, mind you, it’s not your fault, it’s your heart that’s responsible for everything and making you a puppet pulling a string here and there. That is why it is catastrophic because there is a fine line between like or love which is always mistaken by the people, which one is which or used interchangeably.
Choices aren’t for life, and if you think you have choices then you are mistaken.
There is a reason for everything, but not a choice. You’ve met a girl no matter where and when your heart likes her, then there’s no turning back. You’ll do anything just to exchange a word with her since the conversation helps in dating each other. Dating is the getway to understand each other, but for a couple, it’s also a getaway to fuck.
Nonetheless, when you feel a zest or chords hitting a right note it’s time to mingle no-no not screwing rather an intimacy to feel and share with each other. If you had the choice, you would choose the right soulmate for you. Even when dating, we think irrationally, that’s the reason why we have many happy little accidents. Dating is a soft relationship in which people try to explore each other in-depth, but in reality, dating is like a dead end because we believe in undressing or stripping them off instead of unwinding her.
Let’s make it easier to understand, you are born in this world but you as life starts from your mother’s womb. Well, there is no need to explain the process of how a female conceives so, I think you had the idea. But there is a twist, what if your mother and your father had never met, well, it would be the end of your story because you would never exist in this world. Even the slightest mistiming could have ended your existence, thanks to your mother and father, they managed to make the right choice at the right time, and you existed.
There is a story and a few twists or just happy little accidents, that’s why, you can read this now, scratching your head. “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” — Gail Sheehy. I don’t believe in choices because my conscience is clear, everything is fair in Love and War, whereas Love is blind.
If you had a choice, then your love would not be blind. No one wants a queen who is only bold and beautiful rather zealous to have a queen who is mighty and fierce, who can slay a foe to protect her adobe. Sadly, a queen willingly destroys her adobe and happiness for compromise. Divorce is not a choice, it is an easy escape from your inner problems that affect you and your child mentally, physically, and psychologically. That’s why divorces are killing more people than diseases.
Although we may not have a choice rather a reason in our lives, we have the choice to adjust to what has been done and make sure that we are not an idiot again. This is multidimensional, age, gender, race, nationality, religion, and status no one is excluded. More and more people are facing these problems, but many get tangled up in this web of melancholy because you don’t trust anyone. Just give your hand and see who holds it tight, no one is alone in this shitty world, there is always someone there for you, your guardian angel!
Make sure that your child is not a happy little accident of your adventure and exclude them from all the crux. Your child is half of you so that he may not pour all his crux at someone whom he loves and ends up like you, the same old story.
What comes, comes, you have no leverage over that however, you can change the outcome. If your father and your mother are still celebrating their golden anniversary, then, they have enough experience on what to change and how to change. I don’t think they were a perfect couple, but I’m sure they have a beautiful story to tell, ask them about their story, then you’ll believe,
“there’s a reason for everything, but not a choice.”
